May 2012
1 post
Just saying
You’re wrong.
The question is not
“How many times can your heart be broken?”
The question is
“How many times can it heal?”
April 2012
2 posts
Revelation
There is nothing quite like breaking up to make you question yourself and all your values.
Scarred and cautious, I often wonder what it was about this relationship that made me so different, and so insecure. It was easy to lose track that this was a journey that was heading somewhere, and even easier to forget that I was the anchor that was stopping the boat from heading to its destination.
...
The Smile
You smiled, and it lit up my day.
You were just another person, yet another familiar face that passed through these halls, but you had the most beautiful smile. Maybe it was because you were always so stern and serious at work, but it was as if no matter how difficult the job was, or how stressful the day was, you always had time to smile to those around you.
I pray that I am able to emulate...
March 2012
28 posts
February 2012
2 posts
God's plan
Some things are beyond planning. And life doesn’t always turn out as planned. You don’t plan for a broken heart. You don’t plan for a failed business venture. You don’t plan for an adulterous husband or a wife who wants you out of her life. You don’t plan for an autistic child. You don’t plan for spinsterhood. You don’t plan for a lump in your breast. You...
Distance
“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”
January 2012
5 posts
Revelation
There is nothing quite like breaking up to make you question yourself and all your values. Scarred and cautious, I often wonder what it was about this relationship that made me so different, and so insecure. It was easy to lose track that this was a journey that was heading somewhere, and even easier to forget that I was the anchor that was stopping the boat from heading to its destination....
Being in love:
Difficulty. As in you’re gonna end up fighting more than half the time, then the next like nothing ever happened at all. Spending one moment crying yourself to sleep, then the next non-stop laughter. Then full of frustration, next filled with joy. Some moments talking about what great future you two have planned ahead, then the next with no future at all. When you like you’ve...
“I’m sorry for everything I’m not, but I know that I love you with...”
Bittersweet
Endings are bittersweet.
Like a sad story, like the possibilities of what could have been. Endless recriminations - with each party asking the same questions that had been asked a million times before.
You asked me why I let you go. I asked myself why I didn’t do it earlier.
It was difficult to find the strength to leave, knowing that you had sacrificed so much of yourself for me,...
“Just because I comes off strong doesn’t mean I didn’t fall asleep...”
December 2011
3 posts
I need it
Dear diary,
I thought that I could smile, nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be ok.
And I had a plan, I wanted to change who I was. Create a life as someone new, someone without the past, without the pain. Someone alive.
But it’s not easy. The bad things stay with you. They follow you. You can’t escape them, as much as you want to.
All you can do is be ready for the good. So...
November 2011
5 posts
Silver Lining
Moving on, is a skill Iylham Yushaak has mastered with time. A skill which has turned into an intuition; To know when to leave and to know when to let go.
I am not strong really, It’s just that I have learn to accept the fact that things don’t always turn out to your fancy. Acceptance is the first step to letting go. Accepting that it is okay to not have everything your way.. Let life...
“I can’t promise you a perfect relationship without arguments over our...”
Warmth Of Each Other
People always think that when you sleep together, there’s always something that is happening in between the sheets and the bed.. ❤ But let me tell you, it’s not always like that.. The feeling of actually hugging each other until you fall asleep, the warmth of each other’s breath, and the total happiness in the morning when you wake up right beside them.. Everything may sound so good to be true,...
From the heart
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be. Possibly your neighbor, co-worker, long lost friend or even a complete stranger, but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment...
The Slip
Sometimes I’m sorry doesn’t cut it. Sometimes the things you say are only worth it in that moment, those fleeting few minutes which make it or break it, and when the moment’s passed, nothing you can ever do or say can ever erase the scars that your careless words have caused. Each slip of your tongue cuts a little deeper. And one day the chasm will gape open, and these walls will...
October 2011
1 post
To let go
She held her heart in her hands, like always. Inspecting for any missing beat or burst vessels that she had ignored. Like times before, her heart has been deceived into make believes of sincerity and innocence. You, like the rest was never meant to stay. You, a wonderful person, she decided. Wonderful indeed; you too will be a distant memory that she will never revisit. She held her heart in...
September 2011
4 posts
Breaking Point
You break my heart because you do not understand. You shred me to pieces because of the questions you ask. I do not know if it is ignorance, or if it is the fact that you inherently see things a certain way, and it is the way you view things that will always make you say those things that imply your mistrust or your negative impressions. You see things one way, and I another, and our entire way...
“When she was just a girl she expected the world but it flew away from her reach...”
Merdeka
Today I give thanks for small mercies.
I am thankful we live in a country that is so rich in culture and diversity, and despite politicization and media mongering, we still live in peace.
I am thankful for the traffic jams, for that means I live in a country which has decent roads. I am thankful because that means I am driving.
I am thankful that I am able to find a place to eat at any hour...